@ninjadinosaur1: Oh your boyfriend proposed? Well I just realized my new dress has pockets, so I think it's obvious who's having a better day.
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@TheTalkingPipe: Some people wouldn't understand irony if it beat them over the head with a helmet.
@ReneeHooray: Playboy's decision to keep models clothed comes weeks after McDonald's decision to serve breakfast all day.
@mattgallo123: My waterproof phone is advertised in commercials with people surfing and kayaking and here I am tweeting in the shower.
@SimplyRetard: "*RING**RING* in the middle Of night! "Hello?" "Hey man are you home?" "No dude i just picked up my house phone from Burger King."