@ninjadinosaur1: Oh your boyfriend proposed? Well I just realized my new dress has pockets, so I think it's obvious who's having a better day.
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@Robski_Boy: If I reach 700 followers, I'm gonna tweet naked for the next hour. Won't do much for you guys, but it'll certainly liven up Starbucks.
@patnelke: Let my son leave the house today wearing a striped shirt and plaid shorts. I'm done, he's natural selections problem now.
@KrunkedRobot: Just told everybody in the bar to shut the hell up so my date could hear the full effect of my velcro wallet opening.