@sweetmissashley: Oh, your pet loves you more than anyone else? No shit, if you controlled when I ate I'd be obsessed with you too.
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@KalvinMacleod: [driving test] INSTRUCTOR: Any initial concerns? ME: Volcanoes I: About the test? M: No I: Ok then let's go M: *drives into active volcano*
@rad_milk: I dropped a piece of cheese on the airplane and i know it rolled forward and some piece of shit in first class is enjoying it now