@GuyEndoreKaiser: Oh you're sick? Let me weirdly list every other person I know who's sick.
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@Douchekevin: Never mind trying to scare me about going to hell religious people, it won't work. I was married for 6 years.
@cepheusjackson: MUGGER: Empty your pockets! ME: But these are cargo shorts. (45 min later) ME: That's the left one MUGGER: Seriously. ME: I am SO sorry
@DrDogMD: DR DOG: Please remove your shoes & step on the scale PATIENT: Ok DR DOG: I'll be right back *carries the shoes out of the room in his mouth*
@UnFitz: [firing squad] Captain: Any last words? Prisoner: Why, yes. I'd like to speak with you for a moment about gun control.