@GuyEndoreKaiser: Oh you're sick? Let me weirdly list every other person I know who's sick.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AsgardianRose: The fastest and most deadly land mammal is a woman who has noticed another woman flirting with her man.
@PaperWash: If you tell me having a dog is the same as having a kid then I'm going to assume you yell at your dog to keep his pants on at Wal-Mart.
@PinkCamoTO: Interviewer: So why did you leave your last job? Me: Someone found out my birthday and decorated my cubicle with balloons.
@jazmasta: Ever think about an old friend and wonder what they're doing right now? They're playing on their phone. Everyone is playing on their phone.