@FSUSteve: Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it's ok to bite an opponent.
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@Tipocazzuto: Her: did you accidentally take an extra Ambien? Me: why? Her: who vacuums their bed? Me: the unicorns like a clean place to lay.
@Sickayduh: BOSS: I've called you here because I suspect one of you... IS AN OWL ME: Who? *everyone stares at me, even Gary whose head is turned 180°*
@AnOrangeSNES: *An elf cop pulls Frodo riding an ent over* Elf Cop: Where ya going? Frodo: To throw a ring into a volcano! EC: Step out of the treehicle
@Dawn_M_: I won't undo a retweet in case someone finds it offensive. I just knit them onto pillows and give them as Christmas gifts.