@NicCageMatch: Ok but how old is your child in minutes?
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@4boding: My daughter asked me to help her find a job because she’s learned enough in school. She’s 5.
@Freudstombstone: It hurts my feelings when people call me a failure. I'd rather people think of me as successfully challenged.
@EndhooS: Cop: Are you drunk? Me: Could a drunk person do this? *I just piss my pants* Cop: WOW. Yes actually. Me: That was supposed to be a backflip
@Brampersandon_: ME: forgive me father for I have sinned PRIEST: nothing that can’t be forgiven my son ME: I microwave my pop tarts PRIEST: u sick son of a