@superdadatron: Ok everybody. Please look in your bedroom closet. I got my stalking notes mixed up and don't know where I am.
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@CoopSoSarc: Daughter yells "I love bananas, the bigger the better". Wife and I laugh hysterically, Then I die a little inside.
@SatansTongue: Where is your 1,000 word essay? "Right here" *pulls out selfie* That's a picture... "A picture is worth 1,000 words" *becomes valedictorian*