@DVSblast: OK I GOT TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS WHOLE HILLARY EMAILS THING. TURNS OUT THEYRE LIKE A FAST KIND OF MAIL THAT GOES IN THE COMPUTER.
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@cwhudson: [Olive Garden] PATRON: there are so many types of pasta WAITER: [required to say this] yes...*clenches teeth* the pastabilities are endless
@DurtMcHurtt: [job interview] What are your strengths? Me: inventing special occasions. Is that even a *I interrupt him with a happy cereal day song*
@daemonic3: HIM: Happy birthday, honey! I got you a gift basket, just like you wanted HER: Oh thanks! What's in it? HIM: What do you mean, "in it"?
@Mr_Kapowski: [gym] Trainer: You here to get cut? Me: Uhh no, I'm already circumcised and if that's covered under my membership, I want a reduced bill