@murrman5: ok, now say it again so my wife hears
"you're too big for this ride, sir"
@BarndogKarck: Fred: let's settle this once and for all!
*fred rips my face away revealing bloody skull*
Velma: he wasn't wearing a mask!
Fred: I know.
@SteveKoehler22: Nike is coming out with a line
of Air Brady football shoes.
They have a built in suspension feature.
You just have to let some air out.
@bobvulfov: (getting into a hot tub full of people) i guess we're making some people soup huh gang
@PJTLynch: Captain America: I got the alert, what’s the emergency?
Avengers: Well, it’s snowing, so...
CA [handing over shield]: Last time! Buy a sled!
@hilaryfairie: Omg, autocorrect! For the millionth time, I don't hate all those birches...