@murrman5: ok, now say it again so my wife hears
"you're too big for this ride, sir"
@sbellelauren: i know how hard it must have been for my parents to tell me there was no santa because i just had to tell my parents there's no jesus
@stanleybehrman: Plot twist
*Where do YOU see ME in 5 years..
@teen_news69: LIBERAL PARENTS REFUSE TO GIVE NAUGHTY TEEN COAL:
"fossils fuels cause global warming"
"billy woke up to solar panels in his stocking"
@vexroid: Her: How in the world did we max out the credit card??
Me: Beats me
*pushes $20K worth of Care Bears under the bed
@internetluke: [ordering pizza alone]
Yeah I'd like a large pepperoni and
A medium sausage
*changes voice again*
Another large pepperoni