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@stockejock: Ok pregnant ladies. Today's the day!
@koalaslament: I never know what to do when someone tries to fist bump me, so I just slowly put their fist in my mouth
@BigHeb7: If your best clothes proudly advertise Monster Energy Drink, you can't be left alone with your best looking cousin.
@MarfSalvador: Him: *Head in hands*
Her: What's happened?
Him: Well- I...I... I found this head
@ericsshadow: "We need a solid plan to defeat ISIS."
Galaxy Note 7: I have an idea
@shipwrecksean: I'm looking for something with the health benefits of yoga but absolutely none of the yoga