@SCbchbum: Ok, Surgeon General, alcohol is bad for pregnant women. The warning label might be more effective stating alcohol causes pregnant women.
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@wallin_monica: My 5y/o just threw a 15 min fit because she doesn't want me to get old. I had to tell her if she took a bath it would help me stay young
@Storminika: Me: 'Why are you going through my phone?' BF: 'Do you have something to hide?' Me: 'I'm gonna have a body to hide if you keep it up.'
@plumbur: If you start a conversation with "you're gonna say I'm crazy" there's nothing I can do but to congratulate you on your clairvoyance.
@jakob_huber: Lost in a corn maze? Light it on fire. Turn it into a popcorn maze. Eat your way out.