@Scott_A_Gilmore: OK, time to put up the tree and spend the next six weeks scolding the cat for playing with the dangly remarkably-cat-toy-like ornaments.
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@TheWoodenslurpy: [commercial for gymnastics] Want to delay menarche and stunt your lumbar growth, but also risk getting crotch punched by a four-inch beam?
@NoTheOtherJohn: Me: *Rubbing Chin* Why am I always hungry 30 mins after I eat Chinese food? Chin: [pushing my hand away}I dunno man I just deliver the food.
@jakehightower34: Oompa Loompa: When you die do we get the factory? Wonka: No, I'll just invite 5 random kids and murder 4. Oompa Loompa: We need a union...