@TheToddWilliams: Okay, I'm still confused...
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@dumbbeezie: How to handle a one night stand the next morning 1. Put on Titanic 2. He's gone, that's it
@jwoodham: Much like the giant panda and the snow leopard, the 20-something white girl without a wrist tattoo is now an endangered species.
@LaziestCanine: [teenage girl reading horoscope tweets] "Gemini's go to sleep when they are tired" HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO ME