@carlyken: Okay kids don't ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger's houses except on the day we worship the devil.
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@shanethevein: The doctor asked if I was sexual active. I shook my head and said "Not in front of the wife".
@ChickenFrecklez: Hubby's head seems like it's almost twice the size of mine. We are never having children.
@Tmoney68: All my scars & bruises tell a story. The story of a guy who falls down A LOT when he's drunk.
@jimmytorosian: [commercial] Narrator: These are real people and not actors- Actor watching the commercial: *throws lamp at TV* WE'RE PEOPLE TOO!