@Lhlodder: Okay, kids, listen closely cause I'm only gonna say this 257,000 more times.
@GashleyMadison: A laugh track, but for every time my boss says "I need this done today."
@sophielou: If you are ever out in public and you see misbehaved kids running around - start running with them it really brings the nonsense to a halt.
@JohnMayer: Shout out to people who text you and apparently throw their phone into a river as soon as they hit send?
INTERVIEWER: We're looking for a real cat person.
ME: *slowly pushes paperwork off desk*
INTERVIEWER: holy shit
@TheToddWilliams: NAZI: Some of us Nazis got hurt too
ME: Thoughts and bears
NAZI: Don't you mean "thoughts and pra--
ME *releasing grizzly bear*: Nope