@IamEnidColeslaw: okay Mary that guy just smiled at you play it cool oh my god he's coming over here play it cool play it cool HI THERE I'M WEARING TWO BRAS
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@MsCarlissima: To convince my boss that I'm keeping busy, I periodically yell "YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?" into my phone, then slam down the receiver.
@NYC_Blonde: That touchdown dance is exactly the same as mine when I wake up in a guy's apartment and his furnished apartment has a nice view.
@Kimpulses: A woman was arrested when her boyfriend’s body was found in a freezer in their living room. Who the hell puts a freezer in the living room?
@sucittaM: If my name was Dave I'd text my friends today saying "IT'S FRIDAVE! LET'S PARTY!". They'd be sick of me by Tuesdave.