@IamEnidColeslaw: okay Mary that guy just smiled at you play it cool oh my god he's coming over here play it cool play it cool HI THERE I'M WEARING TWO BRAS
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@zachreinert03: I really hope I don't wake up tomorrow morning. I don't want to die, sometime in the afternoon would be nice, or even the next day
@GlumGeorgeLucas: Disney couldn't handle my awesome script. Kylo Ren was Rey's father. Finn was her brother. Chewbacca was her cousin twice removed.
@withanewname: [shopping] [wife being a real pain] Me: *hands her the broom we just bought* You want me to carry this? Or do you want to drive it home?
@Julian_Deane: We’ve run out of coffee so my girlfriend pressured me into knocking next door. So I knocked and awkwardly asked them to go to the shops.