@Dawn_M_: Okay stranger, it's clear that we walk at the exact same pace, speed up or at least hold my hand.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ComedicBust: My boss took me out to dinner to celebrate my promotion, but after he watched me eat ribs for 20 minutes, I was given a severance package.
@big_1_Otis: I like to sit on my hands until they go numb so it feels like somebody else is doing my dishes.
@ipalatsky: - You got so drunk last night, you were dancing on the table in your underwear!! - Me? In my underwear? You must have left early.
@Bacon_Ball: Twitter was down for a couple of hours but I didn't panic at all. I dialed 911 and calmly told them "people are about to die". Then Hung up.