@KenJennings: Okay, vampires are invisible in mirrors, I totally get that. But, come on, their clothes?!? #science
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MrT1M: Most computer problems stem from the lack of a fatherboard. No? Ok, I'll show myself out.
@bornmiserable: ME: Whoa, these people are hardcore Goths CORONER: How many times do I have to tell you that they're corpses, you're looking at corpses
@michaeljhudson: What sound does a cow make? "Moooo" Good, a duck? "Quack" Good, how about a seal? "My power my PLEASURE MY PAIN, babaaaayyy
@AaronFullerton: I didn't see San Andreas because I heard there's not a scene where a therapist tells the seismologist, "It's not your fault."