@neiltyson: Okay with female deers & drops of golden sun. But always felt that "La" deserved a better identity than "a note to follow So”
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@daemonic3: [1st date] HER: So do you have any hobbies? SALT SHAKER: Nice dress! It would look great on my floor HER: What?! HIM: Just ventriloquism
@leshnevsky: Any phrase can be banalized,by adding "if you know what I mean" at the end. EG: This morning my wife made me a ??tea,if you know what I mean
@mrsmith196645: I've concluded English is my phone's second language. It's the only explanation for all the bizarre autocorrects and typos that plague me.
@narcoticpanda: *gets hit by a car* Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?" Me: "Please... I need my... phone" *opens Twitter* Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"