@SortaSarcastic: Okay you guys, I'm gonna distract Twitter with an internal server error. When I do, make a run for it and get your life back.
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@PaulyPeligroso: My mind's telling me "No!" But my body, my body's telling me "There's that chicken salad in the fridge."
@goodtimenoel: You're all arguing about what color the dress is... While I'm having sex with the girl who took it off.
@3sunzzz: [text] H: I'm at Lowes, how wide is the door frame? M: I measured, it's 35 and then 3 little lines after a big long line.