@SortaSarcastic: Okay you guys, I'm gonna distract Twitter with an internal server error. When I do, make a run for it and get your life back.
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@InstaTrent: A vegan girl told me that, "If you eat beef, you're basically a velociraptor." In what world is that not totally awesome.
@goodhairperson: [murder occurs] ME: how terrible. why can't we love each other [someone slightly inconveniences me] ME: I will execute your entire family
@JermHimselfish: The eyes are the window to the soul which is why I'm throwing pebbles at your face.
@Sadieisonfire: I put Infinite Warfare on Craigslist and of course I'm getting the geniuses texting me