@retardedwriter: Old age is nothing but a computer with 1000 GB of memory running on a celeron processor
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@Coastiefish: My car is equipped with the best anti-theft device in Florida. I call it "No air conditioning".
@whereami18: A woman just asked me to "unpark her car" and now I'm searching urban dictionary to see what I really just agreed to do
@TheBoydP: I'd rather take a bullet for my son than cover for him when mom asks who left the dirty dishes in the sink...