Old age is nothing but a computer with 1000 GB of memory running on a celeron processor

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@retardedwriter: Old age is nothing but a computer with 1000 GB of memory running on a celeron processor

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@8bitf0x: what idiot called them crabs instead of sidewalks

186

@birbigs: I don't have a swimmer's body. I have more of a drowning to death body. #Olympics

168

@MikeRevenaugh: Popeye teaches us that the best reason to eat healthy is revenge. #CartoonLifeLessons

@man_spach: Whoever is bringing me the 3 dozen donuts each morning, thank you. But could you just leave them on my desk and not in the break room?

@RileyCaptain: Me: Goodnight mom I love you Mom: I have a boyfriend Dad putting arm around Mom: This loser giving you a problem?

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