@retardedwriter: Old age is nothing but a computer with 1000 GB of memory running on a celeron processor
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@Jake_Vig: "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave." "But after that I'm not responsible for any more room charges, correct?"
@ComedicBust: "These diet pills better work," I say to myself as I wash them down with a chocolate milkshake.
@iwearaonesie: [movie] *guy hugs woman from behind while she cuts vegetables* wife: Aww me*does same thing* wife:ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME LOSE A FINGER?!