@weinerdog4life: Old cordless phones, for when you really need to be on the phone, but also need to sword fight the cat.
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@PortlandiaGirl: There's no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.
@GrillinChillin9: Beer before liquor, never sicker. Liquor before beer, you're in the clear. Mexican food before wine, no 69.
@Elizasoul80: 5 year old son: I want to be a boxer. Me: I think you're too cute to be a boxer. 5: Yes, that is what everybody will think.