@weinerdog4life: Old cordless phones, for when you really need to be on the phone, but also need to sword fight the cat.
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@tayandmae: U know your mind is gone when u get out of bath and realize u only shaved one leg Unless u only have one leg... Then you're good
@truegritrumble: ME: *passing out little top hats* And this one's for you. And this one's for you ZOOKEEPER: Sir, get out of the penguin enclosure ME: Lol no
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Suicide Squad spoiler: Jared Leto's Joker is so twisted he puts big spoons in the drawer slots where the little spoons go.