@weinerdog4life: Old cordless phones, for when you really need to be on the phone, but also need to sword fight the cat.
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@fro_vo: asked my dentist out but she brushed me off, said she only dates plaque guys Not gonna paste any more time on that cavitease, it’s her floss
@Tmoney68: Just overheard someone say they need an "escape goat" for their project & I can't decide if they're a complete idiot or an evil genius.
@vapidaccount: It's really hard to be stealthy while carrying half a box of Tic Tacs. The more you know.