@ipalatsky: Old superstition:
When wife laughs at your jokes:
It means you have guests in the house.
@DaddyJew: Your son has been suspended
He hit a kid who was picking on another child
"so what, yall ran out of ice cream to give him?"
@LuvPug: A lady asked me where my adopted son came from and I said if she doesn't know by now where babies come from it's not my place to tell her
@donni: Wake up, kids! Bees can't even read, much less spell. IT'S A SCAM!
@jonnysun: dave is coming over
"normal dave or dave whos alwayes doing impressions of evrybody we know"
[from outside] hi guyes, its normal dave
@TheTobbie: Someone on my street has taken up the clarinet, which has inspired me to take up the sniper rifle...