@ipalatsky: Old superstition:
When wife laughs at your jokes:
It means you have guests in the house.
@GoldenSpirals: I weighed myself today,
then I ate the scale.
@Dory: Let’s all take a minute and be thankful that bugs aren’t the same size as us
@FunnyMojoJojo: People complain about their looks, but no one complains about their brains.
@Sanbel11: [job interview for psychic]
INTERVIEWER: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
ME: Well played.
@ThisOneSayz: The Force can make you lift a spaceship out of the swamp, but proper sentence structure teaching, it can not.