@sammyrhodes: Olive Garden is appropriately named given that an olive garden is exactly where even Jesus was disappointed.
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@SteveKoehler22: A five year old girl is headed to the National Spelling Bee finals. And I just had to use autocorrect to spell "embarrassed" I'm so emb-
@salamingia: I feel bad for airport security workers. I'm going to make their job easier today by not wearing underwear.
@thatUPSdude: HR: What are some of your strengths? Me: Shifting the blame HR: That's a horrible reply Me: No, your question was! HR: Wow, you're good!