If bad ads/pop-ups are redirecting you, please take a screenshot and email it to [email protected]. Help us keep the site clean!
@TheToddWilliams: "Omelet you finish."
- Kanyegg West
@cervixsmash: Dad: Why are you eyes so red, son?
Son: I smoked weed, dad
Dad: Don't lie to me, you were crying because you are a faggot
@_shellzbellzzz_: My oldest played with BPA free toys that I sterilized constantly. My youngest is playing with a metal coat hanger and a AA battery.
@Brampersandon_: Wife: You're so predictable
Me: Yeah? I bet u didn't see this coming
*I go to throw water on her but shes already wearing a poncho*
@paperphotoyo: Managed to scare off my prison pen pal. Crazy doesn't even begin to cover what's wrong with me.
@Loli_Sug: When I'm horny, I stroll into rooms on all fours, with my ass shaking up in the air, meowing incessantly until someone throws a shoe at me.