@AmmoLoaded: OMG a turtle is coming to kill you, Walk for your life.
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@ohheyohhihello: I stole a friend's phone today and set it so it will autocorrect "I've" to "me've" and me'm really excited about it.
@MrGeorgeWallace: If a gang attacks U say you're on their side & U brought them "gang supplies". They'll let you go to the car to get the supplies. Drive away
@AllyBallyBeal: Colleague: want some popcorn? Keeps you young and beautiful like me Me: Really? Looks to me you should've been eating a hell of a lot more