@vikkaroni: OMG, GODZILLA IS COMING TO ATTACK NEW ENGLAND AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE-oh, he said huge blizzard, not lizard... Carry on then.
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@WheelTod: On your first day at the beach, go up to the toughest-looking guy there, and let the air out of his water-wings.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Cleaning up is a superpower. Don't you want to be a superhero? 5-year-old: I'll just be a bad guy.
@withanewname: Bacon: Toast, great tan! Eggs: Ham, you smell good! Ham: Thank you Eggs, you too! Toast: Bacon, you're awesome bro! -complementary breakfast
@PuckingItUp: I'm just grateful that I don't have to draw on my eyebrows everyday because I would totally forget to do that.