@lazerdoov: OMG I BOUGHT A MASK AND A GUN AND NOW EVERYTHING IS FREE
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@TheBoydP: Protip: If your spouse says “Thanks for the help” when you didn’t do anything don’t reply “You’re welcome”.
@ddsmidt: As I was driving, some stranger yelled "what's your problem lady?" So I was honest, I said I drink too much and I can't stop eating chips.