@echo262: OMG I opened the door to let the dog in and there was a slug on the door AND IT GOT ON MY HAND SO I SCREAMED LIKE A TODDLER AND THE DOG ATE IT TO PROTECT ME. And now we are both embarrassed.
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@truegritrumble: Ask your doctor if doctors are right for you. Make them self conscious. Question their motives. Die unnecessarily young and smug.
@ItsAndyRyan: First date Her: Let's exchange numbers Me: Won't that confuse people who are trying to call us?
@Fred_Delicious: [rolls a boiled egg down the bar to a hot girl] me - "that was an accident can I have my egg back please"