@SunniWestbrook: OMG. I saw Leonardo da Vinci trending and thought he died.
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@comer310: Me: Anything you can do I can do better, I CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN YOU! Mom: Why are you yelling at the dog?
@dril: fired for "unleashing rats at work" which is bull shit first off because they don't make leashes for rats
@causticbob: My wife said "You only love me because my father left me a million pounds." "That's not true, I'd still love you whoever left it to you"
@KalvinMacleod: BLACK WIDOW: help I think my husband is dead 911: did u murder him? BLACK WIDOW: uh 911: ma'am BLACK WIDOW: *quietly hangs up the phone*