@jharrison9292: OMG! It's colder than a pimps heart out here!
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@JohnLyonTweets: The movie Speed, except this bus driver apparently thinks we'll blow up if he goes over 15 mph.
@Spaced_Cowboy00: I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.
@KyleMcDowell86: *police sirens* *Dad bursts into my room wearing a Princess Leia costume* "HIDE THIS NO TIME TO EXPLAIN" *throws bag of cinnamon buns at me*