@jharrison9292: OMG! It's colder than a pimps heart out here!
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@TheCatWhisprer: They say you should eat 6 small meals a day to lose weight so being an overachiever I have been eating 26 a day.
@brettminor: It is crazy easy to buy a birthday cake. Even if it is no one's birthday. They don't even check.
@CroweJam: Snooki, but without the orange tan and poofy hair. And she's in charge of North Korea.
@UncleDuke1969: Wife: You were right. Me: Say it again. Wife: You were right. Me: Again. Wife: You were right. Me: One more time. Wife: You wer- *wakes up*