@sarahjoyshockey: omg leave her alone
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@BringDaNoyz: *walks up to counter at funeral home* EMPLOYEE: Can I help you? ME: Hi, yes, I'll take one death, please.
@TheCatWhisprer: Just Friends is my favorite movie that shows fat guys how to get out of the friendzone through perseverance and becoming Ryan Reynolds.
@AliyanShaikh: Did you know? If you stand under the moonlight and say the name of your true love 3 times, you'll look really stupid.
@shopkins776: I took two years of anger management courses Now I'm the manager of four brand new anger stores