@aecide: Omg someone broke into my professor's house & stole his laptop so my class today has been cancelled. I gotta find this person & thank him.
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@ch000ch: ME: i'm having a lovely time tonight my date: why do u keep yelling "ME" before every sentence
@kyry5: Me: "This Chardonnay is so nice, I can really taste the oaky undertones" "Sir those are just chunks of cork from opening it with your keys"
@Jake_Vig: Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just think, there are people out there who don't get to read my tweets.