@aecide: Omg someone broke into my professor's house & stole his laptop so my class today has been cancelled. I gotta find this person & thank him.
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@laabruzzi: *bumpes into my ex on the street *dials a number Hello, Satan? Dude I thought we had an agreement?!
@TheTweetOfGod: The people in charge of hell sometimes visit North Korea just to exchange ideas.