@PeachesMcPeach: Omg. The WiFi went off a minute ago so my kids came out of their rooms. They're getting so tall!
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@david8hughes: If your dog & your baby are fighting, it's important to leave them to it so that a pack leader can be established.
@mrtruthandsoul: The year is 2044. After trillions of dollars and thousands of lives lost, the SpaceX program lands a man on Mars. Mars: I have a boyfriend
@IamEnidColeslaw: a co-worker asked me if I was pregnant and I panicked and said yes so now I have to gradually gain like 30 pounds
@JohnFugelsang: I can't wait for the next Oscars dead-person montage when all the celebs Joan Rivers insulted have to applaud her.