@WakeVII: OMG you guys! Almost hit a jogger while i was taking a selfie and driving today...so please you guys, be careful, do NOT jog.
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@robfee: Sure, I have gluten free Halloween candy for your kid. *Reaches in pocket & pulls out middle finger* Get off my lawn before I call the cops
@MissyMooMorris: One quality im not looking for in a potential partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm
@ComedicBust: I asked my gf not to wear any panties in hopes of spicing things up, but she ignored me and just kept rolling around, being a watermelon.
@jordan_stratton: Am I financially wealthy? No. But am I rich when it comes to relationships, happiness, and experiences? Still no.