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@TLchDer367: Ominous music should play when you meet the wrong ppl.
@3Snowbee3: Anyone know how to fix a guardian angel, I think mine is broken.
@dave_cactus: [at my dad's funeral after he drowns]
ME: *places a wreath made of a life preserver on the coffin* It's what he would have wanted...
@karencheee: "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - neighborhood drunk
@iliza: A cop was outside my house talking to some people and my first thought was "yesss" because I'm nosey.
@kdelite8: Doctor: it's important to incorporate purple foods into your diet.
Me: *eats purple cupcakes*