@TLchDer367: Ominous music should play when you meet the wrong ppl.
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@stephenjmolloy: [Trying to impress a girl on a date] Me: "Not to brag but I'm getting Windows 10 for free."
@Merman_Melville: Boss: Can you send the documents Me: I am sinking in the muck of a swamp of ancient pain Boss: Ok just don't forget to send the documents
@laurenmacdonald: There's a lot of strange facts in this world if you think about it. For example, some people like when there's pulp in their orange juice.
@Laser_Cat: Tuna are probably pretty annoyed with how much we worry about catching dolphins in our tuna nets.