@_NTFG_: A News Reporter just described someone as "Healthy as a Bus". Yeah....I don't know either.

@zachreinert03: Reporter got asked about any survivors of a plane crash & said 'its up in the air'. Dude if it was up in the air we wouldn't be in this mess

@TheFactsBook: According to U.S. FDA standards, 1 cup of orange juice is allowed to contain 10 fruit fly eggs, but only 2 maggots.

@EndhooS: [Opens hand sanitiser] ＳＵｂｍｉＴ ＹｏＵｒ ＳＯｕＬ ｔＯ ＥｔｅｒｎＡＬ ＨｅＬＬ ｆｉＲｅ [closes lid] wtf? [looks at label] LINDA YOU BOUGHT HAND SATANISER AGAIN

@megankcomedy: I experimented a ton in college. I tried naps in the evening, naps in the morning, sometimes even 3 naps in a row.