@jakob_huber: On a bad dinner date? Bump the table with your knee to make the water in your glass ripple. Claim a T-Rex is coming. Sprint out the door.
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@mortimermaiden: *breaks glass* *pulls fire alarm* [outside] Great, now that you're all here, I want to correct this impression in the office that I'm weird.
@shkeeber: GOOD MORNING EVERYONE! DID YOU KNOW THAT FROSTED FLAKES DON'T TASTE HALF BAD WITH RED BULL INSTEAD OF MILK? I THINK I'LL RUN TO WORK TODAY!
@DanMentos: [first date] *pointing indiscriminately* "uh-oh looks like we're on the Kiss Cam" there's no- *leans in* there's no Kiss Cam at Applebees