@jakob_huber: On a bad dinner date? Bump the table with your knee to make the water in your glass ripple. Claim a T-Rex is coming. Sprint out the door.
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@ojedge: [1st date] [to self] Don't let her know ur a boa constrictor Her: "How's your meal?" [i've dislocated my jaw & swallowed the whole table]
@TySmithdrums: I got hit by a car today, guys. Don't worry. I'm okay. It just grazed me, ripped my cargo pants pocket clean off, egg rolls everywhere.
@fillthevacuum: If insanity is doing the same thing over & over and expecting different results, I must be sane cause I don't even like doing things once.
@ajax06: No matter how powerless you feel, just think to yourself, one single pubic hair off of your body can shut down an entire restaurant.