@patrickmarkryan: On a positive note, once Trump becomes president and burns the world to the ground, our student loan debt is essentially wiped clean
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@Michael_Erhart: There's that girl again. Time to impress her. *Rolls down the window blasting a science podcast*
@omgthatspunny: I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
@lovemydogduck: Why periods? Why can't mother nature just tweet me and be like "Waddup girl. You ain't pregnant. Have a great week. Talk to you next month"