@Midgetspar: On a scale from 1 to 10 I tell people they're an 11. It's a fun way to let them know they don't exist and they take it as a compliment.
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@bea_ker: Judge: The defendant is claiming you're a nazi. Is this true? Lawyer: *flustered* er no fuhrer questions your honour *courtroom gasps*
@Reverend_Scott: wife: um, why is the zoo calling about a missing giraffe? me measuring the ceiling: no idea.
@Aerostars4Sale: SPECIAL COLUMBUS DAY SALE: For $300 you can drive one of our vans into Canada and claim you discovered it.