@Swishergirl24: On a scale of 1 to 10, how married are you?
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@bobsin: If it walks like a duck and it looks like a duck, the chances are she's practising for her next selfie
@MarfSalvador: [Bowling date] Her: Your shoes are HUGE! Does that mean... Me: Yes [Whispers seductively] I have an 8 inch toe
@Donnie_Fairburn: [Comes home and wife is laying in bed with Another Man] "Hey" Hi "Can I ask you something?" Yup "Why'd you name the dog 'Another Man' babe?"
@Tmoney68: Isaac Newton was the pride of the family until his great great grandson Fig was born.