@Bandersnaaatch: On autopsy, instead of pumping my stomach to determine what I've eaten in the past 24 hours, a coroner need only look down my cleavage.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: Sarah Palin's new Christmas book is her attempt at valuing the sanctity Christmas so she can sell books and make money just like baby Jesus.
@jonnysun: gettin prety good at makin baloon animals, so far i can make: - a snake - worm - eel - dog, hot - 2 snakes
@KeetPotato: poet: knick knack.. paddy whack.. me: this guy is awful my dog: i know right poet: ..give the dog a bone my dog: actually lets hear him out
@MolotovJohnny: Why does it jump from 2% milk all the way to whole milk? Maybe I just want 47% milk...