@Bandersnaaatch: On autopsy, instead of pumping my stomach to determine what I've eaten in the past 24 hours, a coroner need only look down my cleavage.
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@MaraWilson: High school prepares you for real life! For example, show choir taught me how to put on eyeliner and lip liner in a car on the freeway
@somecleverthing: Irrational fear 807: being spoken to by a comedian during their performance. I would die a thousand proverbial deaths and a single real one.