@o__0Dev: On average, a person has sex 86 times a year. Apparently, this is going to be one hell of a week.
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@novicefather: Don't be that crazy person who collects cats. Collect something else instead like toenails.
@chairmanMAO_92: This hot girl asked me to recommend some music so i said Pink Floyd, she said "I didn't know Pink used her last name as well" Now she's dead
@TheHyyyype: [first date] HER: I'm really into guys with ambitions ME: *trying to impress her* that's perfect, I have two frogs
@kylamb16: Don't simply give a wrong # to guys @ the bar. Memorize the # of someone you despise and hand that shit out like Reese's pieces on Halloween