@CherylCheryl94: On average I spend about $80 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
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@SortaBad: [Trump speaking at rally] I love this country. I love America. I love singing the *looks at smudged writing on hand* Strawbangled Panther
@rockymomax: [date] ME: do you have kids or pets? HER: a son and a cat ME: what are their names? HER: John & Batman ME: nice! my son is also named Batman
@djdarrellripley: You may be little now, but don't be discouraged. Someday, you'll be a man just like me. *baby starts crying*