@OneFunnyMummy: On bad days I like to take a pregnancy test to remind myself that things could be much worse.
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@Book_Krazy: "Whoa nice car" Thanks. I dropped 40K on a new set of wheels [whispers to friend] "What kind of idiot spends $40,000 on tires"
@_Kim_Jongun: My clothes don't fit anymore. There's only one possibly explanation. America is shrinking my clothes.
@Jennuflect: [At a 5 star restaurant] *gestures at entire menu* Are any of these words fancy speak for chicken fingers and fries?
@InternetHippo: everyone (crying, begging): please…you cannot be both hot and nice. just pick one me: no