@treywafer: On behalf of black people, I'd like to apologize for Nicki Minaj
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@novicefather: [interview] "I'm not sure your experience is sufficient for this position." me: Trump is president "Touché, you're hired"
@cjwerleman: When Obama declared war on Ebola, an executive producer at Fox News tried to find it on google maps.
@KLBChicken: Just walked up to a white van in the parking lot and it literally sped away. *Blindfolds myself *Rage eats candy