@TylerLinkin: On date night my wife took me to a place where you make your own pottery. I made an urn.
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@mishakey: I can tell a police officer is gay by the way he writes me a ticket instead of letting me off with a warning.
@theshamingofjay: Divorce is like hitting the reset button on Super Mario Bros except now you pay for the Princess's castle and hope Bowser kills you.