@TylerLinkin: On date night my wife took me to a place where you make your own pottery. I made an urn.
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@KalvinMacleod: ME: where's your brother? OLDEST CHILD: where's another roll of duct tape? ME: *sprints to the basement*
@jazmasta: In a parallel universe, a group of sentient guitars groan as one guitar gets out a human at a party.
@TheTweetOfGod: I won't be satisfied until I have enough followers to form sects that fight about how to interpret My tweets until they kill each other.
@DanMentos: me: it smells like updog in here me: what's updog me: not much dog what's up with you lmao me: lol therapist: I see