@BlondAmbitionTO: On dates, if a man says the past tense of "see" as "I seen" instead of "I saw," I go to the bathroom and climb out the window.
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@KeetPotato: judge: "you have chosen to defend yourself, is that correct?" me: [muffled from inside full suit of armour] "that's correct"
@shawnries: Cars should have a thing where if you drive around with your blinker on for too long, they explode.
@CatherineLMK: I would make an awesome panda because I too excel at looking adorable while doing nothing.