@mjohnny3: On Fridays, I always dress for what the weather is going to be at 3am when I drunkenly lock myself out of my apartment.
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@DothTheDoth: If you know someone who is effortlessly happy all the time, that's a demon. You're friends with a demon.
@AnkCoupleTO: "I'm so sorry" "No, I'm really sorry" "No, I'm even sorrier than you" "No, I'm the sorriest ever!" *mutual hug* -Canadian rap battle
@UNTRESOR: I never give money to those Salvation Army people because I know they're just gonna spend it on more bells.
@FeralCrone: 4yo son said the word prototype. When I asked him what it meant, he said "People are a prototype" and I was too scared to ask what he meant.