@mjohnny3: On Fridays, I always dress for what the weather is going to be at 3am when I drunkenly lock myself out of my apartment.
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@GoldenSpirals: [At Doctor] Me:I'm having chest pain Doc:Did you buy a new bra? Me:Yes! Thanks for noticing! Doc:I meant it could be causing the pain Me:Oh
@mexinonblonde: *stands up and screams* "PICTURES OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!" *gets thrown out of Easter service during sermon of the resurrection*
@naazihah: Let's all just take a moment to appreciate the dedicated men and women of this great nation who sacrifice their evenings to deliver pizzas.