@WhatTheFFacts: On June 28, 2009 Stephen Hawking threw a party for time-travelers. He announced the party the day after it happened and he said no one came.
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@WICKEDTRUTH01: *Takes your face in my hands* *Looks deep into your eyes* *Whispers "You make me want to spend the rest of my life avoiding you" *
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What do you want to be when you grow up? 2-year-old: An eagle! I’m going to save so much money on college.
@LindaInDisguise: The worst walk of shame is the one back onto the crowded elevator after getting out on the wrong floor.
@Miltgen: *Job interview* "Im gonna need you to pee in this cup" *hands boss full cup* "Let's start the interview" *boss just sips it the whole time*