@Ivsy01: (On phone) Him: I just ran a marathon in under four? Me: (eating) months or years?
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@mydmac: Yes I will purchase the anti-ageing cream that costs 100's of dollars because the results on those 20 year old models is just miraculous.
@pharmasean: Macklemore was pretty far ahead of me in terms of self-awareness. When I was in the third grade I literally thought I might be a thundercat.
@weinerdog4life: I scream, you scream, my puppet screams, my other puppet screams, the waiter screams, this is the worst first date ever